What do they truly believe?

Have you ever wondered what the Latter-day Saints actually teach as their gospel?

Is it the loving embrace of a Father seeking to save fallen humanity—

or something more like cosmic science fiction?

When it comes to the heart of Mormonism and the Latter-day Saints movement, the gospel they proclaim is not one found in the Bible—nor even in the Book of Mormon. Rather, it is only vaguely hinted at in the Doctrine and Covenants and The Book of Abraham.

Missionaries may come smiling to your front door. They often seem sincere in their love for what they teach—but the gospel of Jesus Christ is not one of the things they bring with them. Instead, they present a series of carefully crafted lesson plans designed to ease you into believing that the Christian church fell into total apostasy, and that Joseph Smith, Jr. restored it in 1830.

But behind this polished script lies a gospel very different from the one they share. A gospel that is not the good news at all.

To understand the simplicity found in Christ, I previously wrote an article entitled “The Gospel of the Cross.” In it, I examined a profound conversation between Jesus and a Jewish teacher named Nicodemus—a conversation that reveals the true nature of the gospel: salvation by grace through faith, not by works or eternal self-improvement.

The Mormon gospel, however, is a different gospel—one that proclaims a different Jesus and a different spirit. And as Paul warned in Galatians 1, such gospels are not merely different—they are under divine curse.

So what, then, is the Mormon gospel?

To help Latter-day Saints understand, I’ve written out their doctrine in the kind of language their god seems to favour—Elizabethan English. After all, if their deity chooses to reveal himself in a dead dialect, it seems only fitting to describe his so-called gospel in the same.

What follows is a faithful retelling of the true Mormon gospel—not the one they teach in missionary discussions, but the one taught by their prophets, apostles, and scripture. It may shock you, as it did me. But this is the gospel of the Ikea God—a god you must build yourself, piece by piece, ordinance by ordinance, until one day you, too, may sit enthroned in your own celestial kingdom, with your own spirit children worshipping you in turn.

The Mormon Gospel

And lo, in the beginning were the gods; and the gods were once men, and the men became gods.

And one among these gods, having taken unto himself a goddess-wife, did beget a spirit child; and this spirit was sent to dwell in a body of flesh upon a world unknown to men.

And behold, this man, being born into sin, was redeemed after he hearkened unto his saviour, and kept the commandments which were given unto him. And after his life was fulfilled, and his mortal body did perish, he ascended and was made a god. And his name was called Elohim.

And it came to pass that Elohim did take unto himself many wives from among the resurrected daughters of men, and they became his heavenly mothers. And from them were born many spirit-children.

And lo, the council of the gods gathered in the heavens, and Elohim stood amongst them. And he called upon Michael and Jehovah, his sons, to go forth and prepare the earth for habitation. And the gods did organize the elements, and fashioned the world.

Then did Elohim declare the need for a plan of salvation, and he asked for one to redeem the world. And Jehovah spake, saying, “Here am I, send me.” And Lucifer also spake, saying, “Behold, I will redeem all, and not one soul shall be lost—but give me thine honour.”

And the council chose Jehovah’s plan; and Lucifer was wroth and rebelled, and drew away the third part of the hosts of heaven.

And thus were the rebellious cast out from the presence of Elohim, and became devils; yea, angels of darkness, to dwell in outer realms.

And lo, there were those who stood not with Jehovah, neither did they war with Lucifer, but remained in the valley of decision. And behold, a curse was placed upon them, even a skin of blackness, that they might be marked in shame and denied the priesthood of the Most High.

And they were cast down to earth, to be a servant race, and were forbidden the holy offices of salvation, even until the year of man, one thousand nine hundred and seventy-eight.

And it came to pass, that the Great Jehovah, who is from everlasting to everlasting and changeth not, did suddenly change—yea, even his divine decree concerning the cursed blackness. And the priesthood was loosed upon them, not by prophecy, nor by vision, but by the voice of public opinion and the fear of man.

And Jehovah came unto the earth and was born of flesh; and bore the sins of man in the garden of the fruit of the vine, he did become the Saviour of men. And through his obedience and exaltation, he was made a god. And so did he lift up Elohim unto greater glory. And even so, was Elohim exalted above the gods before him.

And it was declared among them that whosoever shall obey all laws and ordinances, and keep themselves from sin, they too shall become gods. And their godhood shall exalt Jesus. And Jesus shall exalt Elohim. And Elohim shall exalt his Father. And so on without end.

Thus was established the doctrine of eternal progression:

That man may become god, and god was once man, and the gods increase forever and ever.

Although the format of this article is satirical, it offers a faithful reconstruction of core Mormon doctrines—drawn directly from the words of LDS prophets, apostles, and official scriptures.

“Do they actually believe this?” many readers may ask. The answer is: yes—but much of it is buried beneath layers of dogma, ritual, and temple symbolism. Most Latter-day Saints never pause to examine the full implications of their beliefs or the teachings of their early leaders.

For any Latter-day Saint who is truly committed to what the Church teaches, and sees no reason to ever leave, one question must be asked:

Are you doing this for the Kingdom of Heaven—or for your own?